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Birds of a feather flock together, so I ask would you rather soar with the eagles or roost with the turkeys?
One of the basic principles of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is called Modeling. In very simple terms, it means that you can copy the success of others to enhance your own. Its a pretty simple concept. If something or some strategy worked for someone else, given the same circumstance, the same strategy will work for you. Imitation is after all the sincerest form of flattery isn't it? If you get into the role playing aspect of modeling you may find yourself adopting some of the same successful attitudes of the person you are modeling, This can go a long way to getting into a successful mindset.
Every successful athlete studies the techniques of their predecessors to improve their game. Artists often attempt to match the brushstrokes of the known masters as they perfect their own craft. Let's say you want to be a great guitar player. After you have mastered the basics of strumming, chord mechanics and picking, copying the styles of the players that you like is the most natural way hone your ability. Then, as those techniques become ingrained, in your mind and in your muscles, you begin to develop your own style.
Another part of this idea is that we should surround ourselves with people that we can learn from. These groups have been called by many names, brain trusts, master mind groups, support groups or success circles. Attending or being part gatherings where you mix and mingle with like minded folk is essential to success. I have had the luxury of rubbing shoulders with the best of the best in the hypnosis community, and I always look forward to more chances to be with them. You don't even need to be there physically. Facebook and the many online social networks are a great way to maintain a presence among your peers and your "betters".
Individual mentors are also vitally important. If you are an aspiring tennis player who is more likely to be able raise your game? An opponent that you consistently beat or someone who forces you to do your best to just keep up? In my own career I have had the luxury and the honor of becoming close to a few great hypnotists that I am constantly learning from.
I recall a specific time back in November of 2007 when I attended a workshop. One of the participants was a well known hypnotist by the name of Tom Nicoli. As the workshop went on, we had the chance to get to know each other and by the end of the weekend we had become friends. I recall that as we were saying our goodbyes, I put my arm around his shoulder and said something brash like "You and me Tom, we are going places!". Now Tom is very well established, he is world recognized in the hypnosis profession, he's authored several books, been on national TV speaks and teaches all over the world. So here I am, putting my arm around him and acting like I am a big shot. Tom turned to me, looked me right in the eye and said. "Roch, I am already there, you better catch up!" those were some of the most inspirational words anyone ever said to me! It was a kick in the ass that I really needed just them. Tom has been a good friend ever since.
I also am privileged to hang around with some other great hypnotists. John Cerbone is another good friend of mine. He is known as one of, if not the fastest stage hypnotists in the world. He has authored a top selling book of hypnosis scripts which is available on Amazon,com. He has appeared on MTV, Fox News and played to large rooms in Las Vegas. We became friends at the annual hypnotist conventions held in Marboro Mass, each August. John has since allowed me to accompany him on stage and participate as his assistant. He has taught me some of his famous speed trance techniques which I have used in my own lecture demos to great advantage. John is generous and funny, and he is a great talent. Learning from him has raised my game no doubt.
The point is that you need to be around the people you can learn from. You can even absorb knowledge through osmosis if you hang around the "right" people long enough. I have been exposed to so much about the spiritual side of hypnosis by working with my dear friends Beth Campbell and Kathleen Peters. They have opened my eyes to parts of this business I didn't really know existed. We have worked together and I have profited greatly from the experience. I could go on and on name dropping but you I am sure you get the idea.
The last point that I want to make is that you really can FAKE it till you MAKE it. This goes to the idea of raising your vibrational level which I have discussed in earlier posts. If you start thinking like a winner and acting a winner you will become a winner. Positive powerful self talk is the key here.
I want to urge you to visit my website; the links page http://www.self-esteemrecovery.com/links.html.
This is a large part of my own success circle, my personal master mind group, here you will find many of my friends and mentors. I am very fortunate to have such a great knowledge base to draw from and be inspired by.
Namaste
Roch
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Monday, November 9, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Did you ever notice...
That sometimes when you are talking to other people you really are talking to yourself?
Case in point.
This morning I was online and I was thinking about a friend of mine with whom I had not spoken in a few weeks. Almost exactly at that time his name came up on my SKYPE notification thingy. That is the Law of Attraction 101 at work here, but I digress...or maybe not...let's see where this goes,ok? So I clicked on it and we started a to have a conversation across the Atlantic Ocean. (BTW, you have got to get SKYPE...it is a great way to keep in touch with people and it is free).
Anyway, in order to understand the significance of the conversation, you need a bit of background info about my relationship with my friend. We are almost exactly the same age, we had been co-workers with similar pay and responsibilities at a company that neither of us work at anymore. We have very different personalities but we compliment each other, its sort of like being two sides of the same coin. In addition, we have both had financial and physical setbacks to deal with. My friend, actually had moved back to his home country to re-start life there with his family. When he left here, I know that he left with the strong feeling that he had failed, that he had left too much undone, and apparently he is still struggling with those feelings.
After we exchanged our pleasantries, we started talking about what we were both doing. It was not long before I realized that my friend was not happy. He has a job and his family is together again, but many of the other things that mattered to him have escaped his grasp. Emphatically I could pick up that he was feeling unsuccessful and lost. When I mentioned the word "dreams" to him he said he no longer had any and that it's enough to just live day to day. To quote him "I don't dream anymore...its too hard and it doesn't pay. I think about what I am doing right now, what I am going to have for dinner, the wine I will drink tonight and maybe what I will have to do for work tomorrow. That's it, that's all there is." He worked, he ate, he slept and he did it over again and again. He had nothing for himself and he had no hobbies, or outside interests. To hear him speak this way was heartbreaking!
In reply I found myself telling him about my experience with the tow truck driver that I wrote about last week. It seemed to me to be exactly the kind of story he needed to hear. I advised that he needed to find a new dream to hang, on to or at very least to find a distraction. He needed to get himself out of the immediate moment he was in. I explained that he needed to find something to do that he enjoyed doing just for the sake of doing it. I actually suggested that he get himself a dog. I figured that he could use the unconditional love a pet would give him as well using the training time that would take him away from his maudlin thoughts. The main reason I told him that was because, just like a skin diver, you can not go directly from the depths to the surface without suffering the bends and right now he was drowning.
Being the kind of guy he is, he threw it all back at me and asked what I was doing to make myself feel better and what was my dream and distraction? I fumpfered for a beat, because I didn't know exactly how to put it into words. But then I felt my own emotions rising, and in that moment I was back in the cab of the tow truck with that truck driving poet. As I began to talk, I could feel myself going into the kind of trance that happens to me when I am in healing mode. I told him that my dream is to take this hypnosis business, (The Self-Esteem Center of L.I.) to the next level and that my distraction was writing. I don't know if I was reaching him or not but as I spoke about my dreams I found myself being inspired to work. After a bit he got off the call with me, maybe I made him uncomfortable, but I hope not. I think maybe he was feeling a bit like I felt the other night when the truck driver held a mirror to my soul.
As soon as I got off the call, I sat down and wrote this blog post. More over, I'm now determined to write some promotional emails and make some calls to potential clients. I will contact a producer who had expressed interest in my doing a stage hypnosis show on TV. and I will start writing the first of three scripts that I intend to turn into salable CDs. So you see, in the end, the Law of Attraction worked on several levels. It brought me into contact with my friend who needed to hear what I had to say, but perhaps even more importantly, it brought me back into contact with myself to get inspired and get moving on my dreams too.
NAMASTE
Case in point.
This morning I was online and I was thinking about a friend of mine with whom I had not spoken in a few weeks. Almost exactly at that time his name came up on my SKYPE notification thingy. That is the Law of Attraction 101 at work here, but I digress...or maybe not...let's see where this goes,ok? So I clicked on it and we started a to have a conversation across the Atlantic Ocean. (BTW, you have got to get SKYPE...it is a great way to keep in touch with people and it is free).
Anyway, in order to understand the significance of the conversation, you need a bit of background info about my relationship with my friend. We are almost exactly the same age, we had been co-workers with similar pay and responsibilities at a company that neither of us work at anymore. We have very different personalities but we compliment each other, its sort of like being two sides of the same coin. In addition, we have both had financial and physical setbacks to deal with. My friend, actually had moved back to his home country to re-start life there with his family. When he left here, I know that he left with the strong feeling that he had failed, that he had left too much undone, and apparently he is still struggling with those feelings.
After we exchanged our pleasantries, we started talking about what we were both doing. It was not long before I realized that my friend was not happy. He has a job and his family is together again, but many of the other things that mattered to him have escaped his grasp. Emphatically I could pick up that he was feeling unsuccessful and lost. When I mentioned the word "dreams" to him he said he no longer had any and that it's enough to just live day to day. To quote him "I don't dream anymore...its too hard and it doesn't pay. I think about what I am doing right now, what I am going to have for dinner, the wine I will drink tonight and maybe what I will have to do for work tomorrow. That's it, that's all there is." He worked, he ate, he slept and he did it over again and again. He had nothing for himself and he had no hobbies, or outside interests. To hear him speak this way was heartbreaking!
In reply I found myself telling him about my experience with the tow truck driver that I wrote about last week. It seemed to me to be exactly the kind of story he needed to hear. I advised that he needed to find a new dream to hang, on to or at very least to find a distraction. He needed to get himself out of the immediate moment he was in. I explained that he needed to find something to do that he enjoyed doing just for the sake of doing it. I actually suggested that he get himself a dog. I figured that he could use the unconditional love a pet would give him as well using the training time that would take him away from his maudlin thoughts. The main reason I told him that was because, just like a skin diver, you can not go directly from the depths to the surface without suffering the bends and right now he was drowning.
Being the kind of guy he is, he threw it all back at me and asked what I was doing to make myself feel better and what was my dream and distraction? I fumpfered for a beat, because I didn't know exactly how to put it into words. But then I felt my own emotions rising, and in that moment I was back in the cab of the tow truck with that truck driving poet. As I began to talk, I could feel myself going into the kind of trance that happens to me when I am in healing mode. I told him that my dream is to take this hypnosis business, (The Self-Esteem Center of L.I.) to the next level and that my distraction was writing. I don't know if I was reaching him or not but as I spoke about my dreams I found myself being inspired to work. After a bit he got off the call with me, maybe I made him uncomfortable, but I hope not. I think maybe he was feeling a bit like I felt the other night when the truck driver held a mirror to my soul.
As soon as I got off the call, I sat down and wrote this blog post. More over, I'm now determined to write some promotional emails and make some calls to potential clients. I will contact a producer who had expressed interest in my doing a stage hypnosis show on TV. and I will start writing the first of three scripts that I intend to turn into salable CDs. So you see, in the end, the Law of Attraction worked on several levels. It brought me into contact with my friend who needed to hear what I had to say, but perhaps even more importantly, it brought me back into contact with myself to get inspired and get moving on my dreams too.
NAMASTE
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