Starting all over again ...Again!

It has been a couple of weeks since I last had the chance to write.  I have been really busy and then I got sick with a bad chest cold (bronchitis).  It has taken a lot out of me because I have been burning the candle at both ends and eventually it had to catch up and I guess it finally did.

Thanksgiving week, I had the chance to start a new full time job in the health insurance industry doing something I have never done before or ever thought I would be doing at all for that matter.  The company that I am working for gives you some basic sales training for a half a day and then you hit the phones and it's up to you to do the rest.  Obviously you can not sell insurance yet, but you do have a couple of products that you are legally able to sell and you are given a script and a phone to do it.  Thankfully these are good products and I am very happy about that because if I did not believe in the products I could never sell them at all.

You have to prove that you can do the job by closing a serious number of these small deals and after you have met the company's criteria, they will send you to school at their expense for your state insurance license. Once you past that test, you can actually begin to make some real money. With this type of work there is potential for decent income a few months into working there and very good income if you get good at it, but you have to pay your dues first and in the begining there is not much at in the way of money at all. It is a weeding our process.  So far of the original 5 people hired on the day that I started and of the three that were hired the next week, there is only me and my new friend Fred who are still standing.  This is pure telephone sales, and with my NLP skills and Hypnosis background it should  be something that I will be good at.  So far. I do like the job, at least it is something that is not physically demanding and it is giving my body a chance to rest a bit and there are a few other advantages to working there that are attractive to me and for now I am committed to making it work.

In the spirit of this blog, I want to tell you, my friends, the kinds of things that I am doing to make this transition work for me.  But to be honest, by writing this today, I am doing it as much for me as I hope it will do for you.  For me it is a kind of proclamation and affirmation, for you I hope it is instructional.

The first thing that I started doing was to begin a practice of visualizing my success for a few minutes in the morning as I lay in bed before getting dressed.  I imagine myself at my desk and writing up the documentation which shows the closed deals,  I hand that paperwork over to my boss and shake his hand as he congratulates me on the job well done.  I imaging myself talking to people on the phone and in doing so I am also working on my "pitch".  I get into feeling that I am irresistible to anyone I talk to.  Then I spend a few moments enjoying the fruits of my success.  I see myself driving my new car, I see my new motorcycle waiting for me to hop on and ride, and I feel the weight of the cash in my pockets too.  I let myself really get into it and frankly it's become the most enjoyable part of my day.  

The second thing that I did was to publicly post two of my goals prominently on my desk for me to see all day,  One is a formula for how much money I will be making by a specific date.  And the second are my specific sales goal that I set for the current week.  These serve not only to motivate me, but it is an announcement of my intention to the universe and an invitation for it to participate in my success.

Number three goes back to the realm of creative visualization.  I do this at night just before I settle in to sleep.  Sitting up in bed, I hold my hands at shoulder width and move them begin to move them closer together until I "feel" my energy (chi) pressing back.  As a Reiki Master, this is something I have practiced often and I am used to doing all the time but anybody can do it.  When I have that ball of energy in between my hands, I begin to fill it with all my good intentions for the coming day.  I put in the ball that I will have the chance to speak people who are ready willing and able to purchase the products that I am selling. I  put in the ball that I will speak to people who want my help. I put into the ball that I will speak to people who are in a position to help me in my life in ways that I don't even know I need yet!  Finally, I put in the ball the intention that everything I am desiring is all for the greater good of everyone I come into contact with.  Once I feel that I have put all my good intentions into that ball I visualize that I am releasing it out into the universe.  I watch as that ball flies out of my hands and then explodes like a fireworks in the sky and those millions of little sparks go off to find their intended targets and those people will find there way in turn to me.

Once I have done that, I simply ask that my guides and guardian angels protect me and help me as I do what ever I must do in the coming day to become a success at my chosen occupation.  I believe that I have many guides and angels at my side.  They have protected me (and my family) in the past and I take the time thank them in earnest for there help.  I know that they are happy to help me but you have to remember to ask for their help and thank them when they do!

The last thing I did this week was to write a number of Sales Affirmations which I have also posted on my desk.  Previously in this blog, I discussed the importance of making affirmations.  In doing this I am just practicing what I preach.  I have committed myself to reading them aloud at least three times a day.  I think its important to read them aloud because then it becomes a statement of intent or a declaration of truth and a self fulfilling prophesy. Here they are for you.  If you like them feel free to copy them yourself.  So far, one of my co workers has already asked me for a copy and he has posted it on his desk too

. 
BTW I took the background picture at the Grand Canyon it's such and inspiring place that I felt it was a good backdrop for this too.

So this is what I have been up to the past week.  I am working on improving my performance and doing some NLP work on myself, I will share some of that with you next week   Until then...

Namaste

Roch

Thanksgiving in the light of the day

This blog isn't going to be one that offers much in the way of advise. I just kind of feel the need to do a bit of personal introspection.  Everyone has heard someone say to them "count your blessings" and this year I have more to be thankful for than in many others past. 
So here is my list:

I am still breathing.
I believe that God is aways looking after me and my loved ones. (even if sometimes I forget to thank him until after I am forced to remember that...sorry about that God)
My family is healthy.

My kids do not get into trouble.
I have managed to keep a roof over our heads.
I have more than enough food on the table.
I have good clothing and shoes.
I have a two jobs that I enjoy (and I am starting a new one on Monday),
I have a dream and a goal that I am working towards.
I have transportation.
I have friends that care about me. I made a lot of new friends this year and rekindled friendships of years past.
I have my pets.
I have a places to go where people like me and are glad to see me,
I get the chance to help people and sometimes I even get paid for that.
I still have most of  my teeth and some of my hair.
I still can carry a tune and people seem to enjoy listening.
I get to hold a baby once in a while.
I have faith that I am where I am supposed to be at this time in my life no matter what hardships are being thrown at me.

I am sure that given more time I could expand on this list but for now I am satisfied with it.  Thursday, I will be together with most of my loved ones.  I plan on reading this list out loud at the dinner table.
I pray that all of you dear readers are whole and healthy too.

Namaste
Roch

Are you ready to fly with me?

Birds of a feather flock together, so I ask would you rather soar with the eagles or roost with the turkeys?

One of the basic principles of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is called Modeling.  In very simple terms, it means that you can copy the success of others to enhance your own.  Its a pretty simple concept.  If something or some strategy worked for someone else, given the same circumstance, the same strategy will work for you. Imitation is after all the sincerest form of flattery isn't it?  If you get into the role playing aspect of modeling you may find yourself adopting some of the same successful attitudes of the person you are modeling,  This can go a long way to getting into a successful mindset.

Every successful athlete studies the techniques of their predecessors to improve their game.  Artists often attempt to match the brushstrokes of the known masters as they perfect their own craft.  Let's say you want to be a great guitar player. After you have mastered the basics of strumming, chord mechanics and picking, copying the styles of the players that you like is the most natural way hone your ability. Then, as those techniques become ingrained, in your mind and in your muscles, you begin to develop your own style.

Another part of this idea is that we should surround ourselves with people that we can learn from.  These groups have been called by many names, brain trusts, master mind groups, support groups or success circles. Attending or being part gatherings where you mix and mingle with like minded folk is essential to success. I have had the luxury of rubbing shoulders with the best of the best in the hypnosis community, and I always look forward to more chances to be with them.  You don't even need to be there physically. Facebook and the many online social networks are a great way to maintain a presence among your peers and your "betters".

Individual mentors are also vitally  important.  If you are an aspiring tennis player who is more likely to be able raise your game? An opponent that you consistently beat or someone who forces you to do your best to just keep up?  In my own career I have had the luxury and the honor of becoming close to a few great hypnotists that I am constantly learning from.

I recall a specific time back in November of 2007 when I attended a workshop.   One of the participants was a well known hypnotist by the name of  Tom Nicoli.  As the workshop went on, we had the chance to get to know each other and by the end of the weekend we had become friends. I recall that as we were saying our goodbyes, I put my arm around his shoulder and said something brash like "You and me Tom, we are going places!".  Now Tom is very well established, he is world recognized in the hypnosis profession, he's authored several books, been on national TV speaks and teaches all over the world.  So here I am, putting my arm around him and acting like I am a big shot. Tom turned to me, looked me right in the eye and said. "Roch, I am already there, you better catch up!" those were some of the most inspirational words anyone ever said to me!  It was a kick in the ass that I really needed just them.  Tom has been a good friend ever since.

I also am privileged to hang around with some other great hypnotists. John Cerbone  is another good friend of mine.  He is known as one of, if not the fastest stage hypnotists in the world.  He has authored a top selling book of hypnosis scripts which is available on Amazon,com.  He has appeared on MTV, Fox News and played to large rooms in Las Vegas. We became friends at the annual hypnotist conventions held in Marboro Mass, each August.  John has since allowed me to accompany him on stage and participate as his assistant. He has taught me some of his famous speed trance techniques which I have used in my own lecture demos to great advantage. John is generous and funny, and he is a great talent.  Learning from him has raised my game no doubt.

The point is that you need to be around the people you can learn from.  You can even absorb knowledge through osmosis if you hang around the "right" people long enough. I have been exposed to so much about the spiritual side of hypnosis by working with my dear friends Beth Campbell and Kathleen Peters. They have opened my eyes to parts of this business I didn't really know existed. We have worked together and I have profited greatly from the experience.  I could go on and on name dropping but you I am sure you get the idea.

The last point that I want to make is that you really can FAKE it till you MAKE it.  This goes to the idea of raising your vibrational level which I have discussed in earlier posts.  If you start thinking like a winner and acting a winner you will become a winner. Positive powerful self talk is the key here. 

I want to urge you to visit my website; the links page http://www.self-esteemrecovery.com/links.html.
This is a large part of my own success circle, my personal master mind group, here you will find many of my friends and mentors.  I am very fortunate to have such a great knowledge base to draw from and be inspired by.

Namaste
Roch

Its not NOW or Never, Its just NOW!

"The past is history, the future is a mystery but now is a gift and that's why we call it the present!"  I'm pretty sure I got that old saying right and I certainly have no clue who said it but it is very true.  This week I want to talk about Present Moment Focus.

The best way I can describe Present Moment Focus is to talk about one of my passions.  Riding my motorcycle.  I just loved riding that bike, I recently sold, it but I will soon get another and a better one (Visualize. visualize, visualize!).  The thing I loved most about riding it is the freedom  from everything else going on when you are sitting atop that machine and cruising down the highway.. It is simply the most liberating experience you can have that's legal and not fattening!  Think about it, there is only you, the bike and the next 100 yards of road ahead of you.  You can not dwell on more than that because you really are on your own and unprotected from everything around you. If you allow yourself to get distracted you can die.  You have to be hyper-vigilant in order to stay safe.. 

This need to stay in the moment when riding is true because (as any rider will tell you) when you are tooling along; where you look is where you go!  Look to the right and the bike veers to the right and visa versa.  That's because once you get up over 15 mph, because of the physics of centrifugal force take over.  There is no need to get technical here but just understand that after a while, it all just becomes second nature, and it is as if the bike is responding to your thoughts.  But because you MUST always be aware of what is happening NOW, you can not think about what happened to you earlier in the day or last week or last year, and except for the nest few seconds of road time you can not think about what is going to happen an hour from now or nest week or when ever.  You have to be in the moment; one moment at time, for as long as you ride you are one with your bike and one with the road.  It's kind of ZEN and for me, that is totally liberating.  . 

P.M,F, is like that, when we are troubled, or anxious, or worried, it is often a good thing to take stock of exactly how we are feeling right at that moment. Physically and emotionally; become aware of where you are right then!.  If you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders just off load enough to allow you to breath.  Then you can start think, but don't think too far ahead. Just think about the very next step.  Confusious said that "A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step".so while you may have a goal or outcome in mind, RIGHT NOW you need to extracate yourself from where you are.  As I have written before, we can not go from one extreme of feeling to another in one fell swoop.  You have to do it gradually. this is the key to P.M.F.

Lets look at this another way, the NOW is a fleeting thing..  By the time you think of something "now" has already become the past.  We can not change what happened in the past, and there are too many variables to guarante any distant future outcome, but by dealing with the present moment, we can at least shift our feelings and in doing so raise our vibrational level and begin to move in a more positive direction allowing the Law of Attraction to begin to work for us instead of against us.

If this concept of Present Moment Focus is interesting to you, the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle would be a great read for you. 


Unitll next time,,Keep the shiny side up!


Namaste!

Did you ever notice...

That sometimes when you are talking to other people you really are talking to yourself?

Case in point.

This morning I was online and I was thinking about a friend of mine with whom I had not spoken in a few weeks.  Almost exactly at that time his name came up on my SKYPE notification thingy.  That is the Law of Attraction 101 at work here, but I digress...or maybe not...let's see where this goes,ok?  So I clicked on it and we started a to have a conversation across the Atlantic Ocean. (BTW, you have got to get SKYPE...it is a great way to keep in touch with people and it is free). 

Anyway, in order to understand the significance of the conversation, you need a bit of background info about my relationship with my friend. We are almost exactly the same age, we had been co-workers with similar pay and responsibilities at a company that neither of us work at anymore. We have very different personalities but we compliment each other, its sort of like being two sides of the same coin.  In addition, we have both had financial and physical setbacks to deal with.  My friend, actually had moved back to his home country to re-start life there with his family.  When he left here, I know that he left with the strong feeling that he had failed, that he had left too much undone, and apparently he is still struggling with those feelings.

After we exchanged our pleasantries, we started talking about what we were both doing.  It was not long before I realized that my friend was not happy.  He has a job and his family is together again, but many of the other things that mattered to him have escaped his grasp.  Emphatically I could pick up that he was feeling unsuccessful and lost.  When I mentioned the word "dreams" to him he said he no longer had any and that it's enough to just live day to day. To quote him "I don't dream anymore...its too hard and it doesn't pay.  I think about what I am doing right now, what I am going to have for dinner, the wine I will drink tonight and maybe what I will have to do for work tomorrow.  That's it, that's all there is."  He worked, he ate, he slept and he did it over again and again.  He had nothing for himself and he had no hobbies, or outside interests.  To hear him speak this way was heartbreaking! 

In reply I found myself telling him about my experience with the tow truck driver that I wrote about last week. It seemed to me to be exactly the kind of story he needed to hear.  I advised that he needed to find a new dream to hang, on to or at very least to find a distraction.  He needed to get himself out of the immediate moment he was in.  I explained that he needed to find something to do that he enjoyed doing just for the sake of doing it.  I actually suggested that he get himself a dog.  I figured that he could use the unconditional love a pet would give him as well using the training time that would take him away from his maudlin thoughts.  The main reason I told him that was because, just like a skin diver, you can not go directly from the depths to the surface without suffering the bends and right now he was drowning.

Being the kind of guy he is, he threw it all back at me and asked what I was doing to make myself feel better and what was my dream and distraction?  I fumpfered for a beat, because I didn't know exactly how to put it into words.  But then I felt my own emotions rising, and in that moment I was back in the cab of the tow truck with that truck driving poet.  As I began to talk, I could feel myself going into the kind of trance that happens to me when I am in healing mode.  I told him that my dream is to take this hypnosis business, (The Self-Esteem Center of L.I.)  to the next level and that my distraction was writing.  I don't know if I was reaching him or not but as I spoke about my dreams I found myself being inspired to work.  After a bit he got off the call with me, maybe I made him uncomfortable, but I hope not.  I think maybe he was feeling a bit like I felt the other night when the truck driver held a mirror to my soul.

As soon as I got off the call, I sat down and wrote this blog post. More over, I'm now determined to write some promotional emails and make some calls to potential clients.  I will contact a producer who had expressed interest in my doing a stage hypnosis show on TV. and I will start writing the first of three scripts that I intend to turn into salable CDs.  So you see, in the end, the Law of Attraction worked on several levels.  It brought me into contact with my friend who needed to hear what I had to say, but perhaps even more importantly, it brought me back into contact with myself to get inspired and get moving on my dreams too.

NAMASTE

It's for a reason!

The Law of attraction says that you create your reality and that you ask for everything you get both good and bad.  This is sometimes hard to believe when things are not going your way.  But even then, I think that the universe always has it's reasons.  A case in point.

The other night I was driving home from an appointment in a heavy rain.  I decided not to take my usual route because the road tends to get flooded, so I went around the long way.  The route I was taking is all back roads and its very dark and lonely.  It's a funny thing too because the last two times I went that way I missed a turn in the dark and ended up going out of my way a bit so I was determined not to miss that turn.  Sure enough, I missed it again but I realized my mistake right away, made a u-turn and took the right road.
A few minutes later I crossed over an intersection and did not notice a HUGE puddle.  I was unable to avoid it and I was committed so I gunned the engine and tried to go all the way through it without stopping.  I made it to the other side but just then my car died.  Try and try again it would not restart.  So I pulled out my cell phone, and called 911 and AAA. The police said that they would send a car to check on me and AAA told me it would take about an hour before the driver could get to me.
This is just great I thought, I decided to go this way home specifically to avoid exactly the situation that I now found myself in.  Sitting alone in the dark in the rain on a lonely road gives one time to think, and my thoughts were not very happy at that moment.  The occasional car would stop and ask me if I was okay then turn around and avoid my mistake.  Eventually the police arrived and he incredulously asked "Didn't I see that the road was closed?".  I wanted to say something smart to him, because I was already pissed off but then I thought better of it.  I said that there was no sign of of that and so he went to check.  In a while, he came back and said that somebody must have moved the sign and barrier but he put them back. Gee, that is just peachy, I thought.  He asked if I had help coming and left when I said I had called triple A.  So once again I was left in the dark with my thoughts; the only light coming from my hazard flashers. By now I was getting cold and I also had to urinate, I wished the damn tow truck would get there already.
A few minutes later, I saw the flashing lights of the wrecker and was relieved. When the driver got out of the truck, he flashed me a knowing smile and I asked him if I could sit in the truck were it was warmer.  (Don't tell anybody but on the way I stopped behind a nearby tree to take care of that other issue).  When I got into his  very messy truck cab, he had his music playing loudly, a big pile of papers on the passenger seat and of all things, a book of poetry perched on top of the pile. This seemed kind of odd to me, but to each his own.  I was intrigued so I picked it up and started leafing through it.   It was not my cup of tea but there was nothing else to do so I kept reading.
When he had my car all hooked up he got in the cab and we did the required paperwork, and I finally got a good look at the man.  The poor guy was soaking wet, he was an African American and about my age, maybe a bit younger.  He confirmed where I wanted to go and we started off.  He immediately began asking me questions about myself. He had an interesting speech pattern that made me think that maybe he was a bit "slow".   I answered him good naturedly but not with any enthusiasm,  I just wanted to get home. Then he asked me if I liked poetry.  I said yes and that I that enjoyed writing some poetry myself. He pointed to the book and said for me to look.
I confessed that I had already read some if it and he asked me what I thought.  I didn't want to be rude so I said I liked it.  He perked right up and proudly announced that he was the author.  The book was not very big it maybe had 50 pages in all and some of them were just photographs. The poems were centered on the pages and none of them were more than 4 or 5 verses.  He said it was self published and that he was now working on a new book too.  His publisher was doing some promoting of it and he was hoping that it would take off because his dream was to be a full time writer and photographer.  A few minutes later we got to where I needed to be and he unhooked the car.  I paid the fee and tipped him for his work.
Later that night as I lay in bed, I could not help but think about that guy.  What an inspiration he was and he also kind of shamed me.  Here was a man who for all appearances was not doing very well, I guy that probably didn't have had anywhere near my level of education or IQ but he had a dream and he was actively working for it.  He had taken his dreams in hand and was making them happen.
So what was I doing about my own dreams?  How hard am I pressing myself to make them come true?  I can tell you this, I have new motivation.  If he can do it how can I not?  I think that the universe gave me a gift, even if it came at the expense of my car trouble.   I had to meet this man and this was the only way that was ever going to happen.

NAMASATE

Say it with feeling!

Let's talk about self talk.  We all do it.  What kind of things do you say to yourself?  Are you a half empty or half full self talker?  It becomes habitual, and a lot of this actually comes from our past.  Our parents, teachers, siblings or people that we looked up to may have said things both positive and negative and those things can become imprinted on our subconscious.  It's a true that when you hear the same things often enough we begin to believe them.  How many times have you heard yourself saying the same things about yourself that you heard thrown your way when you were a kid?  He's so clumsy..She can't sing..you'll never amount to anything. 
There was a time that I found myself saying these things too.  My thing was saying that I was not "good with money."  Later, when I thought about it I could hear my parents saying similar things to me when I was a kid.  Its not that they intended to do anything harmful to me, in their way they was doing their best to help me.  But she didn't understand the impact that her well intentioned but poorly phrased words would have.  It took a long time to realize that I was actually living to up (or actually down) to those expectations.  I really believed that I was not "good with money" as as a result I never really had any.  In addition, my mom had a favorite phrase "Self-Praisers Stink"  My sister and I were brought up with the idea that we should not ever say good things about ourselves, that all praise must come from others.  I believe that she thought that self praise was the same as being conceited which to her was a sin.  This only reinforced the impact of my parents words as positive praise was never really all that free flowing around our house.  When I realized that I was verbally sabotaging myself I began to take steps to correct it.  I started a daily practice of saying affirmations to counteract the old imprints. 
The first step is to take a bit of time and listen to how you talk to yourself.  Are you using self-deprecating humor?  Are you always critical of yourself?  Then take those things and re-frame into a positive suggestion for your subconscious.
Affirmations have 5 critical properties:
1.  They are positive.
2.  They are present-tense.
3.  They are simple.
4.  They are believable.
5.  They are measurable.
So lets do a little role playing and construct a proper affirmation.
To counteract "I am not good with money" I might say. that "I am a great money manager who pays his bills on time with more to save" Breaking it down, it goes like this.
1.  Is it positive? Yes, I declare that I am "great money manger"
2.  Is it present tense? Yes, it starts with ' I am..."
3.  Is it simple? Yes, its only one sentance
4.  Is it believable? Yes, to me it is
5.  Is it measurable? Yes, there are two standards here.  One that "I pay the bills on time" and two is that there is "more to save"
Now, just saying these things, isn't by itself going to make it true all by itself.
You have to say them with feeling and really get into it.  Feeling good about it and just let yourself go. 
You can combine this with some constructive visualizations and then you really have some powerful mojo going for yourself.
Anyway it a process and it will take a bit of time but just remember how many times you heard the negative things for them to sink into your consciousness and before long you will back on track.
Give it a shot, you might just surprise itself!

 

Doing what comes naturally!

Okay so this is going to sound simplistic but it works.  When life throws you those inevitable curve balls, the best thing might be to look at the that you like to do, and go from there.  Sometimes the easiest things to do can be found right in front of your face.  Re-inventing yourself can be fun if you decide to make it that way.  So what makes you happy?  Music, Art, Working with your hands, Public speaking, Writing, Cooking, Playing games, or Fixing things?  Are you a people person or would you rather not be involved with the public?  Do a little introspective inventory taking and make a list.  Just let your feelings rule the day for a while..
Now its time to be a bit creative in your thinking.  How can you incorporate those things that you like to do into your daily life?  If you are looking for work, match those things with the criteria for jobs that match.  Its much easier to work at a job you really like than drudge along at something you hate or even just tolerating. Believe me, I can really attest to that. I am fortunate enough to have come through exactly that kind of change and I love what I do now.
Maybe its not your job that is the issue.  Again go back to the list and adjust your thinking around it.   How can you bring more of those things into your personal life.  Odds are that if you are looking for love, you can probably find it in somebody with the same likes as you...right?  Would it not be easier to talk to someone you have things in common with? They say opposites attract but nothing could be further from the truth.  Energy welcomes like energy that is what the Law of Attraction is all about.
In these times it is necessary to be proactive, so get off your butt and start making things happen.  Good things really do not come to those who wait.  They come to those who put themselves in a position to receive them.
Be a receptor, not a spectator get in the game and play it for all you are worth.  Do what comes naturally and you will find happiness.

Assumptions

I was happy this weekend which is good. And for a while I wasn't, but then I was again.  So how did that happen?  In one of my earlier posts, I talked about FEAR.  False Expectations Appearing Real.  That's exactly what happened to me.
The circumstances are not important but what was important is that for a while I had jumped to a conclusion without all the facts. The reality was not what I expected.and in the end, the situation worked out perfectly well and as a matter of fact it went completely my way. 
I spent the better part of a half hour being pissed off and miserable, when, if I only had a bit more patience I would not have felt that way at all.  My expectation was that I was going to be unhappy, and I was.  I allowed my fear to rule my attitude  We always create our own reality, my expectation was that I was going to be let down, I reacted to that expectation and as a result I felt let down and angry.  Moreover, in that state, I influenced the way people around me were feeling. I caused a chain reaction of bad feelings.  For a short time a lot of people, were upset, and angry. None of this was truly necessary. Most likely it never is.
Thankfully, the situation took care of itself and everyone was okay in the end.  No permanent damage was done.  I am glad that calmer heads prevailed. People make assumptions all the time.  Usually, its not a good idea. that old saying "when you assume you make an ASS out of U and Me" tends to be the truth. In the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Carlos Ruiz, the third of the Four Agreements is do not assumptions.  This is good advise.  Many times the assumptions we make lead to misunderstandings as they did in my case this weekend.  Had I taken the time to ask the right questions instead of leaping to the wrong conclusion I would have still had the same great outcome, but passed the pain I caused myself and the discomfort I caused the other people.
Another assumption that I was involved with, happened the week before last.  Someone I know, saw me coming out of the Department of Social Services building where I was to find out about getting some help for the huge medical bills I have right now.   That person called someone else I know and said they saw me coming out of the Methadone Clinic and asked how long had I had a drug problem.  Obviously it was easier for that person to believe/assume that I had a drug issue as opposed to needing some financial help. 
Thankfully that misunderstanding was cleared up right away but imagine what might have happened to my reputation had that gone any further? 
Anyway all's well that ends well. It's a lesson I wont soon forget.

A note of thanks to a Friend and Colleague

Today, I came across some kind words written about me from my friend and hypnotic colleague Michael Glowacki who is the owner and operator of Capital Hypnosis which is located in Madison WI   Michael and I were classmates in our NLP training and he is a very accomplished and successful practitioner of the hypnotic arts.  You can follow his interesting blog at Hypnosis & NLP Success Secrets. 
Thanks again Michael for the shout out to me on your blog and the your take on three ways of raising your Self-esteem.  I agree totally, and will touch on those ideas in a future blog of my own.

If you are in the Madison WI area and are looking for a well trained, and  effective hypnotist I can recommend Michael Glowaki without hesitation.

Namaste,
Roch

So what do you want anyway?

Are you going for the big ticket items...World Peace?  Curing cancer? Ending Hunger? Winning the Nobel Prize?  Or are you thinking more in terms of just "Please God, just let me get through this month!".  Granted, I'm talking about the extreme ends of the spectrum here and most of us find ourselves somewhere in between.   But not too long ago, I realized that most of what was on my list I fell into the what "I don't want" category. My thought sets fell into things like:
I don't want to run out of money before the bills are paid.
I don't want to get sick again.
I don't want my kids to get into trouble
I don't want my car to break down
I don't want to get stuck in traffic.
I don't want to be behind the guy with bad gas!
I don't want ....  get the idea?

In a nutshell, the "Law of Attraction" says that we get what we think about.  So as a result, I kept getting more of that kind of stuff.  (By the way if you want to learn more about the "Law of Attraction" just Google it you'll find thousands of references.)

What I needed to to, and what I encourage you to do is to understand that all of your don't wants come down to some manifestation of fear, and when you look the root cause of the fear in the eye, it becomes easier to turn your thinking around and re-frame the thought.  Someone recently reminded me of an acronym for FEAR; False Expectations Appearing Real.  I believe that when it comes to the way we think about things this is often really true.

So how do you flip your don't wants into wants?  I have been doing my best to concentrate on being grateful for what I already have.
When the thought comes to me about my bills I say, I am really lucky to have a job now and the opportunity to earn even more.
When the thought comes to me about being sick, I look in the mirror and tell myself how handsome I am and how well I feel right at that moment.
When I worry about my kids I think about how I felt the first time I held them.
When I worry about my car breaking down I think, how much I love driving it with the top down in the sunshine.
When I am stuck in traffic, I say this is a good excuse to listen to another song on the CD
When I am behind the guy with bad gas...Well I guess no matter what I feel I can't do much about his problem LOL I think i will just move to another line.

What all those things do is change the attitude, even if just for the moment, and that breaks the cycle of thought. Do that enough times and your "don't wants" all become less threatening.  Before too long you find yourself in a better frame of mind, and then you start putting out the positive energy which brings to you positive things.  Then you can really start working on those big Ticket items.

Namaste

Sept. 11, 2009 a Brief Memorial

Dear Friends,

I could not let this morning pass without acknowledging the events of this day 8 years ago.  It seems to me like yesterday.  I am sure everyone recalls where we were on that sunny morning.  It's a moment that is forever blazed into our minds, and our hearts profoundly and has touched my soul at its deepest level.

My heart and my prayers go out to everyone who lost loved ones and my thanks and deepest gratitude I extend to the heroic first responders who raced to the rescue not knowing that they had sealed their own fate in doing their jobs. 
For the thousands of men and women who toiled in the rubble to put right what was torn down you own my greatest respect.

I have a special affinity for the men and women of flight 93 who stormed the cockpit and died fighting for their lives.  I am so proud of them; true American spirits all  "LET'S ROLL".  Those individuals saved the lives of the people who were the intended targets of the terrorists.  God bless them all.  They are angels for us all.

Namaste

Change your Mood and Change your Life

This week I want to talk about how you can change your mood when you need to.

Two or three weeks ago I had a miserable morning. First I went to the bank only to find I was seriously overdrawn, then I found out the reason for that was because a family member had neglected to return an expensive item (it was just a misunderstanding) but it caused a chain of bounced checks and the associated charges to my checking account. When I learned about it, I went "ballistic" and lost my temper with everyone around me and my family got the brunt of my frustration and anger.

I was in such a terrible mood that I was storming around the house looking for anything that ticked me off so I could rant more and more. Believe me this was not one of my best moments.

But then I stopped and realized that my anger was an engine that was just driving me further and further down a road that I didn't want to go. For weeks I had been doing my best to raise my vibrational level and manifest good things including more money into my life. I realized that I was doing damage to all of that and that I had to gain control of my feelings and begin to reverse those negative vibrations again. Moreover, I had to get to work and as I am in a sales job I knew that the mood I was in was certainly not conducive to that. If you are radiating negativity people around you pick up on that and nobody is going to buy from you.

So what to do? You can not do a 180 degree turn around on a dime with your feelings. It takes time to counteract bad feelings. Actually for me, when I am in that state of agitation, I usually blow my stack which passes quickly but then I remain moody for a long time. I needed to do something so i could get to work and have at least the chance to make a sale.

I decided to make a sales trip to the farthest part of my territory, this would give me time to work on my mood. What I did then was start listening to my music. More than that I decided to learn the words to a new song that I had been enjoying. So I put a the CD into my player and repeated the song over and over until I knew all the words. By the time I got to my first stop,
I was feeling fine, and in fact I did make a sale that day.

You might think that is all it takes, but the day was not complete because I had to clean up the mess I made at home with all the energy that I left behind me. I had forgiven myself first but I had to make a point of making amends to the people in my house that I had ranted at. Sometimes that is not so easy. I had raised my vibration but they were still upset when I got home. I made an apology for my anger and my ranting, I confessed that what really happened was I was reacting to my own feelings of inadequacy about making enough money to support the family.

What I decided to to was to watch a funny movie and invite my family to watch it with me. It was just an inroad to put us in the same room, in an nonthreatening environment. Unfortunately, the family member who was the recipient of most of my wrath was not ready to sit with me, but at least I had made the effort and I know that vibrations are infectious. I watched the movie and enjoyed it laughed out loud. And the day ended with me knowing that I had reset the right vibrational tone again for me to keep on the right emotional track for good self-esteem so that the next day I could carry that into what ever else came my way.

PS; My family member and I are okay again. Vibrations are infectious! Good and Bad!

Welcome to the Self-Esteem Companion

Hi!

This is my first venture into the world of blogging and I hope that going forward. it becomes and enjoyable and helpful resource for you.

If you are one of my first readers you most likely know me very well. For those new friends please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Roch.

If you go to www.self-esteemrecovery.com you will immediately see the area on the home page titled OUR PRIMARY FOCUS. I believe that statement best describes what I am doing. What that says is that The Self-Esteem Center of L.I. was founded with the goal of helping individuals who have had traumatic life experiences that have robbed them of their ability to believe in themselves. Good Self -Esteem is the foundation for all Success and Abundance. Success and Abundance is all mankind’s birth right but its only achievable when we truly love ourselves first!

As someone who has had his share of major life challenges and traumatic experiences in his personal life, his health, and his financial life, I believe that those experiences were laid at my door so I could survive them and then share my experience/knowledge with people who need guidance. I can help them in rebuilding their self-esteem, self-image and self-worth as I did mine. I can say with certainty that it is possible to rebound, and come out of these seemingly bottomless pits of self loathing and relearn who you are.

Okay so now I am going to step off the soapbox, but there will be more to come soon.

Remember, it is never too late to be who you were supposed to be.

Much Love. Namaste!

Roch